I am a Sheep God!

I give them food, I bring them water. I pour out yummy, salty kelp powder for them. If I’m feeling especially benevolent, I bring them apples or cut up squash. And I even do the same for cows.

Farmers ideally want livestock to be a little wary and afraid of humans – a cow that respects humans doesn’t try to jump on them or butt them in play. But livestock do need to be handled periodically and if they’re too shy, catching and handling them becomes much more difficult. Sheep that were bottle fed as lambs, for example, are more comfortable with humans and more likely to follow them around* – but they also won’t lie still when they’ve been caught for shearing or hoof-trimming. So in building a flock of sheep or a herd of cattle, livestock personality is an important factor.**

As the apprentice, I’m really more like a sheep and cattle demi-god. I’m still new at doing all of these things (and I don't have a great deal of responsibility yet) and I’m not involved, as proper gods are, in the life and death decisions of the livestock. My host-farmer-teacher-bosses (hereafter A and E) are the real sheep and cattle gods.

We recently drove half the flock of sheep to the slaughterhouse – mostly this year’s lambs, but a couple ewes and at least one ram. The genetics in a flock are a big deal, and the decision of who will go cannot be undone. So, the trip was preceded by a week of listening to A and E’s (interminable and impenetrable) conversations about the relative merits of every single sheep (sample quote: "What do you think about F's lamb? I think 14 has a better coat. But 15 weighed more. And R had bad feet this year; but don’t forget that 29 spooks easily. So should we keep F's lamb?"). We finally sorted them into two groups: stay and go.

For the life bit of the big decisions, A & E also have some say in how many animals get born – for sheep, they decide when to let the rams into the pasture, and for cattle – well, let’s just say for now that bulls aren’t used very much and more, and AI in farming circles does not stand for Artificial Intelligence.

*One of the friendly sheep is named Elsie, and so every time I visit the sheep the song Cabaret inevitably starts rolling in my head...inappropriate to the situation on several levels.

**And, for future reference, if a cow is getting too close and trying to get all up in your space, you can smack its ear (not box - firmly bat). Since cattle-speak doesn’t include ear contact, this reinforces the notion that humans are special – we speak a secret, unfathomable language, if you will.